how big is ur penis?? i don’t want length, i want volume, surface area and density
i need a cuddle buddy, must be ok with listening to my music and spending 13 hours in bed together
so my roommate often talks in his sleep
normally it’s just things in spanish, or gibberish, or fragments of sentences
but tonight his true colors came out and i hear him say excitedly
"Yeah guys, and now it’s time to Bedazzle everything.”
Of course it is.
ALL BITCHES THIS IS MY HOME TOWN TAKE A FUCKING SEAT WHILE I TELL YOU THIS STORY. GET A BOWL OF POPCORN BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS DOPE
IN THE 1940’S PORTLAND WAS PUTTING IN LAMPPOSTS AND FOR WHATEVER GOD DAMN REASON THIS ONE NEVER GOT FILLED.
IN 1946, DICK FAGAN, AN AMERICAN IRISHMAN WHO WROTE FOR THE OREGON JOURNAL, GOT BLOODY FUCKING BORED AT HIS JOB AND WOULD LOOK OUT HIS WINDOW ONTO THIS SAD EXCUSE FOR ROAD CONSTRUCTION HOLE. ONE DAY HE SAID “FUCK THIS” AND PLANTED SOME FLOWERS.
HE WROTE ABOUT THIS NEW FUCKING PARK AND SPOKE ABOUT HOW LEPRECHAUNS LIVED THERE AND SHIT. MOTHERFUCKING LEPRECHAUNS IN THE MIDDLE OF DOWNTOWN, WHAT THE SHIT.
HOLD ONTO TO THE EDGE OF YOUR SEATS BECAUSE THIS RIDE GETS EVEN BETTER. THIS PARK HOLDS A GUINNESS WORLD RECORD FOR BEING THE SMALLEST PARK WITH WITH INFORMATION SAYING “It was designated as a city park on 17 March 1948 at the behest of the city journalist Dick Fagan (USA) for snail races and as a colony for leprechauns”. MOTHER. FUCKING. SNAIL RACES. BITCHES.
IT’S EVEN BEEN PIMPED OUT OVER THE YEARS
HO HO HO MOTHERFUCKS WE CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS HERE
WE CARE ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT.
THE BEST PART IS THAT IT EVEN HAD OCCUPY PORTLAND PROTESTERS
SO I HOPE YOU FUCKING LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY ABOUT TINY ASS PARKS.
THE AMOuNT OF secoNDHAND EMBARASSMENT I GET fROM MOvies is uNBELIEVABLE LIKE IF SOMEONE dOES a stupiD thiNG IN A MOVie i have to look away Bc it is Is TOO MUCH FOR ME To HANDLE
THE IMAGE WON’T LOAD, PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS SPIDERMAN THREE.